Maudie's Meandering Thoughts

A Poet?

2011-02-22T15:32:00.000-08:00

Daddy would have said that I was a poet, but didn't know it, but my feet show it, they're longfellows. Now that you have had your daily groan, I'll move on to the reason for this poetical post.

I am studying "Jesus the One and Only," by Beth Moore with the ladies of my church and a few others as well. We are up to the point where Jesus is sleeping in the boat while the Sea of Galilee rages around the disciples who weren't anywhere near asleep.

We have the privilege of seeing the end from the beginning on this situation. The disciples are in fear for their very lives and Jesus is asleep in the bottom of the boat. They don't understand God's plan, that Jesus wouldn't die an anonymous death like that, that His sacrifice would be public and demoralizing for all of them. Anyway, the situation recounted there inspired this bit of "no rules" poetry.

In the boat with Jesus Christ
While waves rise up
And winds whip and roar
The mast is rocking side to side
And He sleeps.

In the boat with Jesus Christ
The sails are torn by the winds
The waves splash water in the boat
We sceam in fear of sinking
And He slumbers.

Our urgency and emergency
Cause us to to act without thinking
To panic in unbelief
We can't believe He's sleeping
When death we are facing
And winds keep our heart racing

Wake up! Wake up! Lord
Don't you see we are dying?
My child, even though the storm rages
And you cannot see where you are going
Don't you see I am with you?
And I won't lose the way.
Be still, you waves.
Be quiet, winds.
Be still, my child
And know that I am here. © February 22, 2011

Book Blog Post

2010-12-12T21:59:00.000-08:00

It's not everyday that a fluffy book (read that fiction) will cause me to write a whole post about it, but I read a book today (only 76 pages long) that caused me to sit back and think. The book is Holding Heaven by Jerry Jenkins. It's about more than just the birth of Christ but I won't tell you all that it encompasses. In the beginning of the book Joseph is telling Jesus His story. At the end of the book Jesus is telling Joseph the end of the story. One line will stick with me for a long time to come. "[We] are powerless in the face of God's will." There is nothing else I can say about this.

A Painful Walk Down Memory Lane

2010-12-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

A year ago my mother had been diagnosed with a tumor the size of a tennis ball in her brain. I was making preparations to go and help out as soon as I could. A year ago I was waiting to hear her prognosis and figuring out what life was going to be like for a while.

Last week I heard Lysa TerKeurst on Positive Life Radio talking about a Bible College Chancellor who was stepping down from his post to take care of his ailing wife. Her health had been at issue for a while, but it was coming down to a point of need for more intensive care from him. His attitude was that he didn't HAVE to take care of his wife, he GOT to take care of his wife. It was a privilege.

So I looked back to a year ago, when I was planning to go help my mother--not because I had to, but because I got to. Now, let me tell you, I am sad, there are days I still cry, Mama is gone. She lasted ten weeks from diagnosis to death of her earthly body. It was hard, it is still painful at times--even more so because my husband lost his father this year as well. But I can still look back with a bit of light showing through to see how privileged I was to take care of my mother in her waning days. It's worthy of thanksgiving, and it's worthy of praise. Amen and Amen

Random Randomness

2010-11-18T13:08:00.000-08:00

I recently visited a church and had people come up to me and say, "I'm so glad you are here today." Then they walk off and never give me another thought. No one thought to ask my name, introduce themselves, or inquire into my life.

At this church visit, I watched the gamut of worship--full out abandon to staid participation. I've decided to ramp up my worship--God is worth it!

I have some more thoughts but they are over there ---------> and I am here X. I fell taking out the garbage a few minutes ago and I just don't want to get up. =)

Waiting

2010-11-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

It seems that I am not the only one who is waiting on God to reveal what He has in store. This week I had a talk with my son who said he was waiting on God to show him what's next for him. He said everything is a struggle right now and that all he could think of is that God is preparing him for something new.

Later this week, I had lunch with my former boss who said that she's in a place of peaceful waiting for what God is going to do in her life next.

All three of us have come to the decision that waiting for God and His timing is just fine. I'll just have a glass of tea while I wait.

That Quilt

2010-10-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

The quilt top is finished. I don't have my camera with me because I sent it with my husband to Arizona. Soooooooooooooo there are no pictures.

Back to the husband in Arizona, he's there on a short term missions trip sponsored by my church through Mission Discovery. The destination of the trip is Hard Rock, AZ, the Navaho Global Mission (I think--I could be wrong here). My husband's specific job on this ministry is to build a stock fence around the church's cemetary to keep cattle out. After that, he is driving over to Texas to do some clean up at his dad's house to get it ready to sell in order to settle his dad's estate. So, he took my camera and my luggage with him. I am flying down next week to help in this endeavor and I sent my luggage ahead to pare down the cost of flying. Sooooooooooooo pictures will come as soon as I get a camera back!

Waiting, Fighting, and Praying

2010-10-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this post for a while. I have a bit of a headache right now, so I am not sure how coherent my thoughts will be, but I hope that you'll be able to follow my meanderings.

I went to my oncologist this week with a pre-conceived notion of what would happen there. I knew that there would be changes in my medical protocol or treatment, or in my tumors. I knew that something would be different. BUT it wasn't. No changes in tumors, no changes in treatment, no offerings of anything different. I thought I was prepared for anything that might come my way but I don't think I was prepared to hear that there were no changes in my tumors.

Now I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this and I am not sure I have all the words I need to make myself clear, but hang tight. I'll get there eventually.

This particular appointment had been a matter of prayer for me and several of my friends. To see that doing nothing was an answer for prayer was a bit disconcerting to me. I want to feel like I am doing something, that I am fighting this evil thing that lives in me. And sometimes my monthly injection doesn't feel like I am doing much. This morning as I was working through my Bible Study and my morning devotions, the thought hit me, I am not fighting cancer, but I am fighting principalities and powers and I do not war --- well, let me let Paul tell you how I am fighting: 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,..... So now I see what God is telling me. I AM fighting, I am doing all that I need to do and I need to wait on Him. So I pray as I wait, and I wait as I pray, but in the meantime, life goes on and I need to live it for Him.

Random Randomness

2010-09-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss with keeping up with my blog, since I got hooked into Facebook. It's insidious.

But, I digress.

I am working on a quilt for my daughter (graph shown below). Today I reached the halfway point on putting it together. The harder half is coming, but every square is a prayer for her to find the center of God's will for her life.

Waiting..........

2010-09-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment with my oncologist's physician's assistant on Monday and she confirmed that my disease is progressing. So I wait till I can have my CT scan in October and find out how much I am progressing. I wait to see what my new protocol will be and what treatment options are open for me.

In the meantime, the Lord is faithful to me--once again "my" verse came to me this week. He reminds me that my peace is found in Him when my mind stays on Him (Isaiah 26:3). I will update as soon as I can.

Today's Quotable

2010-08-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Oh! How great and glorious a thing it is to have before one the Word of God! With that we may at all times feel joyous and secure; we need never be in want of consolation for we see before us, in all its brightness, the pure and right way.

Martin Luther, I think

Randomness

2010-08-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

In ten more posts, I'll have my 300th post. I may have to do something special about that. Not sure what, but I'll think about it.

I have had the most emotionally stressful week of my life. People I thought I could trust proved themselves untrustworty and others that I care about were hurt indescribably. I also finished a job that I've had for twelve years. We went out of business. I have things I need to do but I haven't had the energy to do them. I am hoping this will allow me to accomplish a few things. I am going to be filing for Social Security Disability.

Life never stands still, it moves on.

Life--One Way or Another It Goes On

2010-07-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment with my oncologist on Tuesday. It was a highly productive meeting of minds which always makes me feel cared for.

Because my job is ending on the 30th of this month, my doctor said she will help me file for disability. I won't by any stretch be bringing in as much money as I would be while I am working, but it's something. I am hoping that I will have energy to tackle some projects at home that I don't have now. My daughter needs a quilt, I need to make curtains and do some rearranging. I need to do a good spring cleaning.

My doctor also mentioned a clinical trial she thought I could get into. It would not change my treatment protocol except for adding one of two medications to see if the combination would alleviate my symptoms. My tumors have grown somewhat and I do have a few more tumors to deal with--actually I won't deal with them, they just come along for the ride wherever I am going.

This year my husband and I have planned our 30th anniversary getaway again, since it'll be 32 years we have been married. It is our second attempt to try this particular trip, but I am excited to go on this trip. We will be going to Mt St Helens, taking a helicopter trip over the crater, taking in all three visitors centers and generally just hanging out. I was hoping to get my husband a climbing permit, but that didn't work out this time.

So there is the nutshell of my life, and I am the nut who lives it.

Songs for My Heart

2010-07-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to a Christian Music radio station in my car as I go to and from work or while I run errands. And it hit me yesterday that something I miss in music is a depth of theology. It could be just what this particular station is playing, but I am missing something that takes me deep in reflection, deep in desire for God's presence, deep in touching my soul. This is not to say that there isn't a time and place for the light things of this world; it's just that sometimes I need to really be challenged with what I hear, what I read, what I meditate on. I guess this is the stage where I am at the moment. I once heard a speaker say that if you don't like the music you are hearing, be blessed because someone else is blessed. But if you DO like the music you are hearing, be blessed. So I will accept this blessing from God and still seek the depth I am looking for.

Fountain Pens

2010-07-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

I have started a journal--sort of, but I have found I absolutely LOVE fountain pens for writing with. I love to hear the skritch of the pen on the paper, I love the way the ink looks on the paper, and I love the way they feel in my hands. I have letters my grandmother wrote with fountain pens and I feel like her words have a deeper meaning, that she weighed her words with the weight of the pen in her hand. I have things my mother wrote in fountain pen--especially in shorthand that I cannot read! but those things have a deeper meaning coming from the well of ink in the pen and the well of knowledge Mama had.

I have also found that fountain pens resonate within me through the words of this verse of the hymn The Love of God:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

What Bad Luck; What Good Luck

2010-07-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

Personally I don't believe in luck in and of itself, but I have a paradox happening in my life. The store where I work is going out of business. This means I'll lose my job, I'll lose my "play money" and I'll lose the constant contact with friends I dearly love. This is all sad.

BUT in the meantime, I have plans for that time. Between being chronically (yet mildly according to my oncologist) ill, losing my mother, and general all-around fatigue, I don't have energy for some of the activities I'd like to do. First, I have been asked to make a quilt for my daughter. It will be quite an undertaking, but if it comes out like I think it should, it will be breath-taking. I have cleaning and organizing to do in my house. I need to sort and divide and conquer the piles of clutter everywhere. I need to take piles of things to the thrift store. I have books to read, books to sell (ish--I have joined Paperback Swap) and things to learn. I want to relearn my high school shorthand and I want to learn to draw, learn to journal--better than I am doing now, and I want to write the love story of my parents. I also want to do some cooking that I just don't have energy for now.

So you see, it's a bad thing, good thing type thing.

Today's Quotable Prayer

2010-07-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

Lord, whose Spirit is so good and so gentle . . . grant that I may conform to Thy will, just as I am, that, being sick as I am, I may glorify Thee in my sufferings . . . unite my will with Thine and my sufferings with those Thou hast suffered; grant that mine may become Thine. Unite me with Thee. . . . And thus, having some small part in Thy suffering I shall be filled wholly by Thee with the glory which it has brought to Thee, the glory in which Thou dost dwell with the Father and the Holy Spirit, forever and ever. Amen

Blaise Pascall

Legacies or Torches or Both

2010-06-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

My mother prayed. She couldn't walk well and she was always in pain, but she passed a legacy of prayer to me, except that it's not just a legacy. This morning I was reading a book on journaling--a practice I need to pick up--and a comment was made on listening to God--that if He speaks, it's not for His own amusement, but for us to take action on what He's telling us.

Well, here's what came to me. Mama prayed for many people and now that she's gone, no one has really stepped up to take her place. It's sad that it took me almost six months to come to realize that her legacy was really a torch--and one that I need to pick up and carry on for her. I almost let the light of her torch go out but I have been given the assignment by God to pick up her torch and pray. Now that the torch is in my hands I have to make it my own. I can't be Mama. She was one of a kind, BUT I too am one of a kind and I can be me. So now, I pray.

Oops, I Really Didn't Mean It

2010-06-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

I had a bit of a Job moment last night. My daughter was handed some bad news and it broke her heart. My first thought was, "How much more can we stand to lose?" That was pretty close to a Why-Me moment. This year has been a year of losses and I have another one coming down the pike. I am losing my job later this summer.

Now that I have had time to reflect (including the time I didn't sleep last night) I am coming to understand that these things are being taken away to make room for something better, I just have to wait for it. It seems like a lot of turmoil in the meantime.

So I am asking and receiving God's forgiveness for looking at myself first and not looking to Him. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Thank You to Everyone Who Made This Possible

2010-06-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

Sounds like I am accepting an Oscar, but truly, I am accepting my situation, such as it is. I found out in April that my tumors have spread, I now have lymph node involvement, and I have a tumor behind my lung. I have pain in my ribs that the medication I have been taking for the last six years can no longer cover. BUT I am not writing this to complain--I am just accepting the facts of my life as it is today.

I am also accepting of the fact that had I not been gifted with this particular malady, I would not be in the position that I am in right now with God. This is not to say I am in perfect standing--I am not. But I am drawing closer to God, I am learning more of Him, of His love, and I am gaining in understanding of His purposes for my life. So I am thanking Him for allowing me this opportunity that I might not have taken had I not been so gifted.

You know, there are more people to thank in this. There is my Church Life Group who uphold me in prayer constantly, there is my family who stand beside me, there are my friends who are able to ask how I am and understand that if I say I am okay, that's good enough, and they also ask how I am expecting the truth, not the glossed over lacquered version of what I tell people who don't know me well.

There is also my doctor who cares for me in ways I never anticipated--she listens, she counsels, and she doesn't just throw her prescription pad at me.

So to everyone who made this possible, thank you.

Faith

2010-05-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

I've had a couple of posts about faith recently. In my readings, I've come across some very interesting ideas, but this one takes the cake. We know from studying our Bibles that there is no way to please God without faith. But the 2 x 4 that knocked me upside the head this week is that God gives us the faith required to please Him with. That was a rather convoluted sentence. So let me put this another way. We can't please God on our own, and we can't please God without faith, so how do we get the faith to please God? He gives it to us! Why? So we can please Him. It's an incredible thought! He knows our own efforts are useless, but He wants us to know His pleasure, so He provides what it takes. And He supplies that very need out of His RICHES in glory.

As Popeye would say, "Well, Blow me down!"

Caring for Caregivers

2010-05-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have had this post on my mind for some time. I still don't have all my thoughts distilled to perfection, but here goes:

For seven of my mother's last ten weeks, I was at her bedside missing only two days due to weather. I experienced some incredible thoughtfulness as well as a few wishes.

I happened to miss Christmas with my own family, but a couple of Mama's friends brought Christmas gifts to me, because they thought Santa couldn't find me so far from home. Mama spent Christmas day in ICU, but I was visited by several friends of my parents who all asked after my well being. Some churches in the area brought a meal for the families of ICU patients--a ham, rolls, salads, the whole shebang. Another church brought goodie bags for family members as well--cracker snacks, sweet snacks, nuts, little things like that.

I got phone calls by the dozens from Mama's friends and family--and they weren't just asking about Mama, but about me as well. I can't begin to catalog the notes and emails I got as well. It's amazing how people come around you in these situations. It is impossible to put a value on the prayers offered in my behalf during that time. I held up much better than I ever thought I would because of them.

Here are some things you can do if you know someone who is caring for an ill family member:

1. Offer to take them out to dinner or fix a meal for them. This is exhausing work and dealing with meals is the last thing on this person's mind.

2. Fix a care package of snack crackers, small candies, nut packets, raisins or fruit. That quick pick-me-up can be invaluable.

3. Find out what they like to read and bring a book to them. I had a stash of books with me, but not everyone does or has time to shop for a book to read. Sometimes a puzzle book works well too.

4. Take a DVD of a movie they have been wanting to see.

5. Give them some quarters for the vending machines.

6. Pray for them--always. They need this more than you know.

I know there are more things you can do, but this is a start and hopefully will help you brainstorm your own ideas. You can get ideas here as well.

Fear vs Faith

2010-04-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

The book I am involved with right now is The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews (He is a guest speaker this year for the Eastern US Women of Faith Conferences). I won't give away the story, but each chapter has a spiritual application and a deep thought. The chapter I read this morning was about the "could have beens" in life and how fear keeps us from receiving blessings that could have been ours but we quit praying too soon. He describes fear and faith as being the same thing with different outcomes--fear dreads the future, faith hopes for the future. Faith culminates in rewards--we will eventually see what we have hoped for. I don't have my notes with me right now, but I will add more to this later on today.

Later on (actually Sunday):

It's amazing what I remember when I don't think I do. This was actually the gist of the chapter--fear dreads what may come, faith hopes for will come. Fear's dread keeps us in an insane cylce, while faith rewards us for our continuing to hope. Fear keeps us away from Jesus, while faith allows us to grasp onto His garment. Part of this came from the sermon I heard this morning, but it still all fits.

In all this comes a decision--do I want to live in fear, or will I live in faith?

Randomness

2010-04-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an awesome Sunday at church. It was Compassion Sunday and we had a speaker with personal experience and had even made a trip to Uganda to see his sponsored child. The worship was incredible.

Today I had a visit with my oncologist. She gave me the Radiologist's report of my tumors and low and behold, I have more of them! But she said there were no significant changes! One of my tumors has grown nearly an inch! I am feeling quite exclamatory!

Now I am eating popcorn and an apple before I go swim.

I think I have covered randomness for today

Lessons Learned From Cancer

2010-04-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

I watched a special on the teachers at St Jude's Hospital the other night. The special focused on what the children there taught the teachers about living with cancer and other chronic illnesses. They showed film clips of interviews with the students, the teachers and sometimes the parents of the children. St Jude's has in-house teachers so that the patients do not get behind in school work just because they are ill. It was incredibly interesting to see how wise these children are beyond their years and it was challenging to me. Two points made by the children have stuck with me:

1. I wanted a normal life, but God decided I couldn't be normal, so I just deal with it.

2. There is no time for the chaos of life, you have to just shut out the trivial and focus on what's important.

So what does that mean to me? I have been fighting cancer for a status quo for the last six years. My oncologist has described me as being mildly chronically ill. So on a day to day basis, I just deal with it. Rise above and move on as my boss would say. This is what God has chosen for me so I will fight the disease, but I will not question the One who is far wiser than I.

I've had recent experience in focusing on what's important when I found out my mother was terminally ill. All of the things we think are so important to our lives somehow lose status in the face of losing one so close to your heart. I went to be by my mother's side for what time she had left. From diagnosis to her death was ten weeks, and I spent eight of them beside her. Then I spent six more weeks helping my brother with her house. There is still much to do but I did a lot of the hard grunt work for him. That kind of thing puts life in perspective for you.

Really we all get caught up in what's trivial and forget what's important. We need to take a page from these children's books and focus on the important and be who God has made us to be.

Asking

2010-04-19T23:24:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I am slow, especially when it comes to spiritual things. I am the last one to have the light bulb come on over my head. I am sometimes that way with techy things too, but that's another story for another day.

Back to my own slowness: This morning I was reading John 14 as part of my devotions. I am trying to take a more listening type attitude when I read so that it soaks in just a bit deeper. This verse jumped out at me: John 14:13 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. The next verse goes on to say ask anything in His name and He'll do it. Pretty amazing stuff. But it's the last part of this verse that caught my attention and stayed with me all day long. cccthat the Father may be glorified in the Son. That's why we are asking--to glorify the Father through the Son. So whatever I am asking for, I need to ask myself, will this glorify God? It puts a new spin on my prayers and what I ask for.

Campus Faith Freedom Alert - InterVarsity.org

2010-04-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Campus Faith Freedom Alert - InterVarsity.org

This is something that needs all of our prayers. Thank you

Insignificance

2010-04-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. I am always thinking, day-dreaming, and otherwise pondering on how I can be more significant in God's kingdom. I has it backwards--I is supposed to be becoming more and more insignificant. I want to put myself "out there," but God wants to be the only One "out there."

John the Baptist had it right when he said, "He must increase and I must decrease." I am reading a book by Will Davis called "Faith Set Free," and in it he has described situations where I must let God stand in the forefront of my life and decrease my awareness of self. But he also talks about something he calls ORT--Obedience Response Time--which means I need to question how quickly I will submit to God or how much I argue with Him about obeying. The Holy Spirit has been talking to me this week about these things. I must decrease my sense of self and I must increase the speed at which I obey. Tough things to do, but I'm not doing them alone.

Remembering

2010-04-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Six years ago today, I was frantically searching for airline tickets, attending a track meet, and packing to go home for my father's memorial services. Six years ago today, my father passed away. This past week it hit me that the calendar this year and the calendar from six years ago are identical. I spent Easter Sunday flying back from Arkansas. Easter was a week later, but that had more to do with the moon phase than where the calendar numbers fell on days of the week.

I look back over the last six years and ponder how I've grown and what I've come through. Six and a half years ago, I went to a conference on prayer, then six weeks later found out I had cancer. I've been through three surgeries since then, deaths of several family members and death of a dear relationship. But that's not all bad, because I've also seen a rebirth (my son came to Christ last September) and baptism, and I've encountered love on such a level I've never experienced before.

Life isn't a box of chocolates, it's a roller coaster that you don't get to get off until the ride is completely through. It twists and turns with climbs and plummets, and yet at the end of it, there is a hope of hearing "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I have meandered all over the place with this post, but that is sometimes how reminiscences take us.

Christ is Risen, He is Risen Indeed.

Prayer Lists

2010-04-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

Mama kept prayer lists all over her house. Wherever she was going to sit, there was a list nearby. The people who populated the lists were all people she cared about: family members, friends, members of her church family, children of her friends--it goes on and on. Whenever she was going to sit down for a while, she would pull out her list and go through it, spending time raising names and faces before the Lord. She also wrote down her prayers for certain people. One of them was Colossians 1:9-14, but she wrote it in her own language and personalized it to meet the needs of the ones she was praying for.

"We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.

"We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins." (quoted here in the New Living Translation)

She truly felt this prayer encompassed every need we'd ever have and I am privileged to have this legacy to have had this prayed for me. There is no greater love, no greater joy, no greater care that Mama could have given me.

Purple Posts

2010-03-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

This is a frequent scene in Arkansas. It is a legally binding notice that means "No Trespassing." A while ago, I was put onto a small book called "My House, Christ's Home" in which the Christian life was allegorically compared to our own house in which Jesus Christ comes to live. In living there, He cleans out closets, bedrooms, dens, and every other room in the house one by one. In seeing this (and I do know the owner of this fence and gate), I am reminded that we may have purple doors or purple rooms where we wish to post a "No Trespassing" sign to keep people and/or Christ out of our secrets. I am also reminded that I need to repaint those places and become more open than I am. This is difficult for me--I am not a transparent person by desire or practice. It's hard to take the steps needed to open up and allow the cleansing Christ desires to do in my life.

This week I have a unique opportunity to do some of this cleansing. Our church is doing a 36-hour prayer watch for the Easter Week, and I have signed up for two of the hours. Part of my two hours will be a Christ-cleansing of my heart. I think I will allow Him to paint over the purple to the color HE chooses

Mama Rests

2010-03-22T11:59:00.001-07:00

Mama went to be with the Lord on February 12, 2010, at 5:00 pm. I was with her when she took her last breath and went straight to the arms of Jesus. Her last week was one I'll never forget. It snowed and I was unable to be with her for a day and a half. When I got back to see her, I could see a definite diminish in her health. She was slipping away from us before our very eyes. Two more days later and she was gone. I stayed in Arkansas another five weeks to help my brother take care of her home and do some sorting out and throwing out. I spent several days burning things like old tax files (some over 30 years old) and moldy letters, etc.

Mama prayed that she would never out-live her mind and she ended up living only a month past the good use of her mind. She would forget my name, but she never forgot who I was. She forgot how to use a telephone, but I could prompt her to talk and she'd be able to listen and say a few words--mostly to her sister. Mama is missed--but she's out of pain and that is such a comfort to me. She was certainly loved as evidenced by the outpouring of prayers, cards, and presence at her services. Thank you to all who prayed for me. I am finally home and I hope to be able to tell you of some wonderful things that happened while I was in Arkansas.

Update

2010-01-07T12:02:00.000-08:00

I haven't been around much because I spent three weeks in Arkansas caring for my mother and then came home for an appointment I couldn't miss. I am going back to Arkansas next week to continue my care for my mother until God answers our prayers to heal her here or take her home.

Mama has Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade IV cancer in her brain. The surgery to remove the tumor was marginally successful--they got the tumor, but there were tentacles to other parts of the brain. She has also had some major intestinal bleeding and that has slowed progress toward her treatment.

That is not the point of this post. I have a team of people around my Mama and around me who are praying for us daily. My strength is coming from on High. There is no way I could be in as good a shape as I am emotionally without the prayers of those who care. Even doctors are involved in this prayer ring for Mama.

I am not sure at this point how long I will be away from the internet, but I will check in as often as I can.

Please keep praying and don't forget your maudie-mae.

Quote for the day

2009-12-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

Love is why God created us in the first place. Theologians speak of the fact that God created everything freely, not out of necessity. This is a very important idea--it means that God did not make us because He was bored, lonely, or had run out of things to do.

God did not create us out of need. He created us out of His love. C S Lewis wrote, "God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them." John Ortberg. Love Beyond Reason. p 16

I am thinking how this quote/book has blessed me in the past few days. I found out Monday that my mother was having hallucinations and was in the hospital. I found out Tuesday she has a brain tumor, and today I found out she's going to have surgery tomorrow. This is surely a trial and I know from James that trials are my friends because they perfect my faith.

My logic isn't always logical from the normal "logic" but the way I see this is that my mother's situation will bless many people. We are allowed this trial because God loves us. There is no better reason than that. He wants us to become more and more like Him and so He has to skim the dross from our lives. It's a loving act from a loving Father who wants only our best from us and for us. Our best is definitely to become more like Him. Amen and Amen

Forgetfulness

2009-11-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

I recently had a conversation with a young man I’ve known all his life. He was relating to me an incident that happened when he was a very young boy. For the life of me I still cannot remember this happening, but I trust his memory, so it must have. The incident was that he had picked up a spray bottle and sprayed ammonia into my eyes. He thought it held water. Before you gasp in horror, I truly don’t remember this, there is no lasting damage, No Harm, No Foul.

This conversation brought to mind several ideas for this article. I am not sure which direction this will go, but we’ll go there together.

The first thought I had after this conversation was that this is how God remembers our sins after they have been covered by the Cross. Hebrews 8 and Hebrews 10 both describe how God forgets our sins that are forgiven and covered. Here is the passage from Hebrews 8 (It is almost repeated word for word in Hebrews 10):
10This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel
after that time, declares the Lord.
I will put my laws in their minds
and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
11No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,'
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest.
12For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more."

What really strikes me about this is that for God to repeat it, it must be very important. This is something we need to remember—our sins are forgotten!

After our sins are forgotten, we have things to do—as Paul puts it in Philippians, we have our own forgetting to do:

3:13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

On the other hand, there are things to remember as well: We need to remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, we need to remember each other in our prayers, to entertain strangers, to offer hospitality, to turn our brothers/sisters from sin, to remember those in prison, to remember our leaders, to remember that Jesus Christ is not dead but that He has been raised again, to remember the work that Christ has done through us—the list goes on and on.

We even have physical reminders of the things that God wants us to remember: Joshua 4
1 When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, 2 "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, 3 and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight."
4 So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."
We are doing something like this in our own congregation with our rocks of testimony. Still it’s nice to know what to forget and what to remember. I find it fascinating to look through the Bible and see what it tells me to forget and what to remember—and why. It all comes back to remind me how much God loves me and what He’s done for me. I can forget the piddly incidents that don’t carry any eternal value—like little boys with squirt bottles, but I MUST remember those little boys in my prayers and I MUST remember to love those boys with the love of God—those are things we should never forget.

Reach Out and Touch

2009-11-10T11:34:00.000-08:00

Letter-writing is a lost art. I used to write letters all the time, particularly to Mama, other family members, and some choice friends. Somewhere along the way I quit. Now I talk to Mama on the phone. If I connect with friends, I email them—or just send them a forward. Once in a while I’ll send a letter. It’s because something is burning in my heart to tell the recipient—feelings that I don’t want to lose and it seems more personal to take pen to paper and pour it out. It draws my heart closer to my recipient. My spoken words may be forgotten quickly, but my written words have the power to stay and encourage again and again.

One thing I do hold onto is the letters that are written to me that touch a special place in my heart. I have a collection of them, some telling how I have blessed the writer in some way, some sharing my pains, some celebrating with me. Those words on the paper don’t go away. I can pull them out and look at them and refresh my soul.

There is something common to all the letters I have sent and I have received—the writers know me and I know my recipients. This knowing makes finding the right words easier, and brings encouragement to both sender and receiver. My letters used to be about daily life, happenings in my family, and not much substance. When I feel led to take pen to paper now, I spend time praying for the one receiving my letter, that my words would be a balm to her soul, that God would use my words in her life in a special way. I also pray for myself, that I would be gentle, careful, and loving in my words. Tone of voice is not something that can always come across on paper, so I feel that it is important to take the care to say the right thing.

A couple of years ago, I found this snippet by Henri Nouwen about writing letters, and as I write my letters now, I let it guide me:

“When I write I think deeply about my friends, I pray for them, I tell them my emotions and feelings. I reflect on our relationship, and I dwell with them in a very personal way. Over the past few months I have come to enjoy letter writing more and more. In the beginning it seemed like a heavy burden, but now it is a relaxing time of the day. It feels like interrupting work for a conversation with a friend.

“The beauty of letter writing is that it deepens friendships and makes them more real. I have also discovered that letter writing makes me pray more concretely for my friends. Early in the morning, I spend a little time praying for each person to whom I have written and promised my prayers.

“Today I feel surrounded by the friends I am writing to and praying for. Our love for each other is very concrete and life-giving. Thank God for letters, for those who send them, and for those who receive them.”

I would like to encourage you to take the time to write a letter to someone you care about. Tell her how important she is to you, love on her with the love God has given you to share, and let her know she was not only in your thoughts today, but she was on God’s mind too—through your prayers for her.

I’d say more, but I have a letter to write.

Let's Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago, my son called me and said, "I am going to need to talk to you in about a month." Now that is about as cryptic as you can get, but I asked him whether it was going to be the weekend he came home or after I got back from Grandma's house. He thought it'd be after I got back because he was waiting on some results. He called me right before he came home in October and said that he'd talk to us while he was home, this was something he'd rather share in person than on the phone, and his results came a lot faster than he expected.

Scoot forward to the second weekend in October, while he was home, he picked peppers and made salsa, enchilada sauce and some other peppery things. After all the kitchen work was done and everyone was sitting down, he said he wanted to talk to us. He reminded us that when he was 17, he quit going to church, and when he was 18, he decided he didn't believe in God. In the recent past he said a situation came up that he could not rectify and in his opinion, there was no humanly possible solution to the situation, so he threw up an arrow prayer--something like, "God, if you are really there, you'll fix this." The speed at which the answer came astounded him. Some time later, an even worse situation came up--impossible by human standards, and he said that after swearing at God for ten minutes, he finally said, "Okay, God, if you can fix this, I'll surrender." The answer came the very next day.

In all this time, he's been surrounded by people who had deep relationships with Christ--a Whitworth graduate, a former pastor, a deeply committed young man and a young woman who were hiking buddies. All of them took interest in his spiritual condition, and a couple of them took the time to help him figure out why he felt the way he did. The former pastor gave him Josh McDowell's "More Than A Carpenter" to read, and he came to the logical conclusion that Jesus Christ is who He said He was. My son said he had no other choice but to give himself wholly to Christ. He considers this his point of salvation. He went out and bought a Bible and has been reading it and praying. He is now searching out churches in Idaho Falls where he is living. He said he needed one other Bible translation other than King Jimmy. I asked him what he wanted, and he said the ESV (I happened to have a spare and was thrilled to give it to him--it's the translation I am reading right now).

So now instead of praying for my prodigal to return, I am praying for his growth, for his strength to stand trials, for his abilities to fight spiritual warfare, and I am praising God that he's come "home."

I just had to share, so you can all join in the party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ramblin' Rose

2009-11-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

I went to Arkansas for my semi-yearly visit with my Mama. I have pictures that I will post later. Actually I have many thoughts I will post later, it's a matter of getting the pictures out of my camera into the computer. I never have both in the same place it seems.

Coming Attractions: Trespassers W
Mama's new corner
And even more.

Stay Tuned.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

2009-10-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

Not that I have been that active in blogging in the past year, but I won't be posting at all for the next two weeks or so, I am going to Mama's. See you when I get back. I promise.

2 John 4

2009-10-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

There is a reason that particular verse heads my post this time. My son drove nine hours each way to make a visit home for the weekend. He had something important to tell us. Since he was 17 years old, he hasn't had time for God in his life, he had even rejected his own belief in God. We never pushed God at him, or demanded that he go to church with us. He knew the offer was open, he was welcome, but we worked hard to keep communication open with him. I even learned how to talk sports, but it was fun to do.

He told me a while ago that he wanted to talk to me, but he was waiting for some results so it'd be after I get back from my mom's. Then this week he called, told me that he'd be telling me this weekend. Last night we sat down to listen to him tell us what was on his mind. He reminded us of his "walk" from the time he was 17. He then told us about how he'd been in a situation that had no way to resolve itself by any human means. He threw up a prayer to a God he wasn't sure existed, and the situation resolved. He was in a second situation that had no humanly possible way to resolve. After swearing at God for nearly ten minutes, he said, "Okay, God. I get your point. If you can resolve this, I'll do whatever you want." The NEXT DAY resolution was in the works. In the end, he told us, he rededicated himself to the Lord. He said he's reading his Bible now. He went out and bought one and wanted another one--a translation I happened to have a spare copy of. Can you imagine the whiplash you would have gotten watching me get it for him?

That is why this particular verse is so important to me. "I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father." It's not just SOME of my children, but ALL of my children!

Neighborly Meander

2009-10-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

I have fallen in love with a new author--Mark Buchanan. Right now I am reading his book called: The Holy Wild, Trusting in the Character of God. This morning's chapter defined what a neighbor was according to the Parable of the Good Samaritan. He spun me around and left me a little dizzy thinking about what a neighbor was. As Jesus told the parable, He asked the question, "Who was the neighbor to the man in the ditch?" The answer was the Samaritan--the one who showed mercy, who paid the price to bind the wounds. Then Jesus said, "Go and do likewise." His command wasn't go to and be the merciful one, but to go be in the ditch, go wait for mercy to fall on you, go have your wounds bound, go have your price paid by someone else. Who is my neighbor? The only One who can do all those things for me, Jesus Christ. What was that second part of the commandments? Love my neighbor as myself--Love Jesus as much as I love me. It's an incredible thought that will not leave me soon.

This is Love

2009-10-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

My favorite subject in High School was Geometry. All right, I have already admitted to the fact that I am sick and twisted, but hang with me a minute. I loved the logic of proofs where step A leads to step B which leads to conclusion C. I loved the progression and being able to argue the point.

The book I am reading is called The Holy Wild by Mark Buchanan, sub-titled Trusting in the Character of God. The chapter I read this morning was on God's love. There were a few statements he made in this chapter that hit me between the eyes. One was from a missionary in Brazil watching a four year old girl washing headlights in the rain to earn a few coins. The missionary asked God why He didn't do something to help that child's suffering and that of other children like her. He heard the Lord speak to him saying, "I did. I sent you." That puts a lot of responsibility on me--where is God in the suffering and why isn't He relieving it? He's doing what I allow Him to do through me. It's a sobering thought.

Somehow this all goes back to what I believe about God's love. Do I Him because He first loved me? What's my evidence here? Where's the logic taking me? So let me be geometric here. God loved me so much that He created me with His own hands. Every other part of creation He spoke into being, but when it came to me, only His hands could do the job. God loves me so much He sent His Son to suffer every kind of torment that I would ever encounter. God loved me so much He provided the very sacrificed He required to atone for my sins. It's incredible. God loved me while I was still His enemy.

Here's a paragraph from the chapter: "God completes His love in us when we love one another. The only way we can get to the place where we rely on the love God has for us--where we rest in it--is by loving. He calls us, you and me, to be His kiss, His touch, His word, His embrace, and by doing so to also be assured of His kiss, touch, word, embrace. He calls me ... to be a living testimony of the Father's love. And by testifying to it, to be convinced afresh of it myself, for myself, for the world." (p 86)

Let me say this: I am glad that God loves me MORE than I could ever love, but I am challenged to show His love this week more than ever before.

What A Day

2009-10-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 6:-something and took a trip to the bathroom, came back to bed and snuggled in my cocoon to sleep a bit longer till the alarm went off. My eyes didn't open again till 9:15. Um, I have to be at work at 10:00. I have to check blood sugar, take medications, and get moving. My alarm was set to radio and not to the irritating buzz that wakes me up every morning. The problem is that the radio doesn't come in well and even after I woke up, I could barely hear it. I wake up slowly--always have, always will. I take a shower instead of my morning bath/devotions. I am mindful of God and want to hear what He has to say to me, and I am hoping it's something good today. I get myself together, and then I have to find my keys. They aren't in my purse, they aren't in the pants I wore yesterday, they aren't by my chair, they aren't by the computer. I finally look on the floor--isn't that where everyone keeps their keys? Out the door I fly (well, walk) to the car, get in and start wending my way to work, and I forgot they are doing road construction on a major intersection I use. Fudge! I have to turn around and go the back way. Then I remembered I am going to have to go the "other" back way while I am at it. Two major intersections under construction. Amazing as it seems, I get to work on time. It's been a quiet morning with a few delightful customers. I am seeing today that there are rainbows in my self-made clouds.

I just started reading a "new" book (new for me) yesterday for my morning devotions and I found a definition of faith I MUST share: Faith is this: resting so utterly in the character of God--in the ultimate goodness of God--that you trust Him even when He seems untrustworthy.
Mark Buchanan The Holy Wild, Trusting in the Character of God.

Till the next time.

Psalm 29

2009-09-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

I have decided I am a sick and twisted person. I want a thunderstorm and I want it badly. I have "discovered" Psalm 29 and it just needs a thunderstorm to read it.

Psalm 29
Ascribe to the LORD Glory
A Psalm of David.
1Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
worship the LORD in(B) the splendor of holiness.
3The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD, over many waters.
4The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

5The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
6He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,
and Sirion like a young wild ox.

7The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire.

8The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness;
the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.

9The voice of the LORD makes the deer give birth
and strips the forests bare,
and in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

10The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
11May the LORD give strength to his people!
May the LORD bless his people with peace!

To imagine the voice of God like rolling thunder--maybe like James Earl Jones or even deeper--just makes me shiver with pleasure. I love deep bass voices.

There's no real point to this, just saying I'd take a good rolling thunderstorm.

Slow to Anger

2009-09-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

Sunday, my pastor took a break from his series on the pastoral letters to spend some time in Psalm 145. One phrase in that Psalm caught my attention--"Slow to Anger." Last month I spend time reading and meditating on Nehemiah, he's become one of my heroes, but in that short book was the phrase "slow to anger." I love Bible Gateway because you can go look for a phrase instead of just a single word, like in my concordance. Seeing something twice in such a short span of time indicates to me that God is saying something important. So I hied myself over to Bible Gateway to see what God is saying about being slow to anger. I found nine references there.

What I found interesting there is that God's patience is never listed alone. He is slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, forgiving sin and rebellion, gracious and compassionate, rich in love, relenting from sending calamity, and great in power. The one thing I did find is that He will not leave the guilty unpunished.

Makes one think..... Sometimes I don't have a conclusion to come to after taking one of these ventures through the Bible, sometimes it's best to let it speak for itself.

Two Men or One and the Same

2009-09-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

How can two men sharing NO genetic material be so alike and how can two men who share 50% genetic material be so different? Mama and I were talking about my brother last night and how his interests sooooooooo do not coincide with what my father's interests were. She had had a conversation with him about why he didn't do some of the things my dad did. He said that everything Dad did, he made work out of it. Going fishing was work, going hunting was work, gardening was work, but it's what Daddy enjoyed. Soooooooo enter my husband, whose every recreational activity is work for everyone else around him. He doesn't fish, hunts rarely, but gardening and yard work are WORK; hiking and backpacking the way my husband does them are work.

That's not the only way they are/were alike. Daddy hated to shop for anything. He paid my brother to go buy Mama's gifts (he even did this right before he died--making sure Mama had a birthday gift from him). My husband hates to shop, unless it's in REI for a new piece of equipment he just has to have. Which is why for our anniversary, we went to REI and then he said he'd go shopping with me anywhere I wanted to go--so I chose book stores. Granted it feeds my addiction, but too, I didn't have to worry about him following me and drumming his fingers on whatever he found to drum his fingers on. He can get lost in a book as easily as I can.

So tell me how can two unrelated men be so alike and two related men be so different????????

Quote for the day

2009-08-23T13:20:00.001-07:00

"The world can be saved from political chaos and collapse by one thing only and that is worship...To worship is to quicken the conscience by the holiness of God, to feed the mind with the truth of God, to purge the imagination by the beauty of God, to open the heart to the love of God, to devote the will to the purpose of God." The Archbishop of Canterbury quoted by Ray Pritchard--Something New Under the Sun

Ten Books That I Will Never Give Away

2009-08-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

So many of the ideas for my posts come from things I read by others who share their ideas so freely. This is one of those posts whose idea came from a blog I read frequently. The point was that the books the writer mentioned had a significant impact on his life and were worth keeping, reading, and re-reading. I see his point and it only goes to fuel the bookaholism in me.

I will exclude my Bible, because it is a given. The problem is that I have several and at times it gives me a feeling of guilt to have so many when there are parts of the world without a Bible. But, that is another story for another day.

So here are my top ten books that I will never give away:

1. A Hymnal—there are times when I want to worship or sing or just be lifted by the words of a hymn. I don’t play the piano, I don’t read music (and I don’t even sing that well), but there are so many hymns from my childhood that still speak deep into my soul. Though I can sing many hymns from memory, reading the words from the hymnal and letting them sink deep into my soul really helps me to worship the awesome God we serve.
2. He’s God and We’re Not by Ray Pritchard. Sometimes I’ll find an author and read everything I can get my hands on by that particular author. This is the first book I read by him and I must say it was life-changing for me. So many times the question “Why?” comes up in our lives and there often isn’t an answer for it. This book gave me the understanding that I don’t need the answer to “Why?” because the answer is “God is God, and I am not.”
3. Prayer: The Great Adventure by David Jeremiah. Again I find an author I like and I read anything I can find. There are others of his books that I find equally appealing—especially books like The Bend in the Road—which details his encounter with cancer. But his book on prayer touched a need in my heart to find my place with God through conversation.
4. Living with Mystery by Stacey Padrick. This book is full of hope when one is feeling hopeless. She brings you back to God’s love and wraps you close in His arms.
5. Splash the Living Water by Esther Burroughs. I got a new understanding of interruptions in my life, and how they could be the Holy Spirit speaking to me. Interruptions can be life-changing, or they can be minor detours depending on what God is wanting to do in my life at that particular time.
6. Every Prayer in the Bible by Herbert Lockyer. Mr. Lockyer has several “Every” books and I own a few of them. In this one, he shows the patterns of prayers laid out for us in the Bible. It is a great devotional book to aid in understanding what prayer is and how to deepen your prayer life.
7. Moments with the Savior by Ken Gire. Mr. Gire used to write the study guides for Chuck Swindoll’s radio sermon series. This is a devotional book that he wrote taking specific incidents from the life of Christ that instruct, that give us an intimate picture of His life, that show the intensity of the God-man, and that show how incredible His life was. I have many other titles Mr. Gire has written and find him to be inspiring.
8. The Ways of God by Henry Blackaby. God is using us to speak to a watching world. People watch our reactions to events—and should see a great difference, not a hand-wringing, cringing reaction, but one of peace and knowing that God is in control. He is Sovereign, He works out His will for us with love and we need to be showing the peace we have to the world around us. 2 Corinthians 3:3 says it best: “You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”
9. Into the Depths of God by Calvin Miller. Seeing the invisible, hearing the inaudible, imagining the inconceivable, these are the lessons Mr. Miller teaches in his book. He helps us get off the “Gilligan’s Island” of smallness in our Christian walk and back to the infinite world of fellowship and relationship with God. It’s an incredible book with life-changing lessons in it.
10. Wide My World Narrow My Bed by Luci Swindoll. Her premise for the book is a Sophie Tucker quote: “From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs cash.” The first portion of the book talks about the values our parents teach us that carry us through life. The second section speaks to the need to care for our bodies and to take care of ourselves. The third portion instructs us on maturing into the women God has made us to be. The final chapters detail preparing our finances to bear us through retirement and the rest of our lives. Luci is well-known as a Women of Faith speaker and as Chuck Swindoll’s sister. This book was written for single women, but the things she teaches are good for every woman to know. Once you have read one of her books, you’ll want to read them all.

These are my top ten and like the bookaholic I am, I tend not to lend them out. I am Maudie-Mae, and I will help you find any of these books you are interested in. Just ask. And stay tuned, I'll add another list of ten pretty soon.

Ain't It Grand?

2009-08-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

I was reading a book by A W Tozer and really got some chewy meat out of it--like what faith really is and what the cost of a spirit-filled life is. If you want to read the book it's called Divine Conquest and I recommend it highly.

The last couple of days I've been reading a novel and in that novel came an explanation of Tozer's definition of a spirit-filled life. I am amazed at how God wants us to understand Him and breaks it down for us in ways we can comprehend. He's AWESOME!

A Dining Experience Not to Be Missed

2009-08-15T21:35:00.001-07:00

Hubby and I went out of town to celebrate our anniversary by shopping for his upcoming backpacking trip. That's okay, today we went shopping for books and I brought home over $100 worth. I also brought home a new appreciation for my boss, but I digress.

Last night we at a Moroccan Restaurant where there was one waiter, and several people to serve. It was an experience. First we placed our order, then he brought out a tub, for lack of a better word, and told us to put our hands over the tub while he poured warm water over our hands. He had laid towels in our laps for napkins. First course was lentil soup which we drank from the bowls. Second came the salad--chopped tomatoes, onions, cucumbers that had all been brined and bread to scoop it up. The third course was B'stella--Layered Pie with Chicken, assorted nuts, almonds, eggs, parsley, and onions; topped with Confectioners sugar and traced with Cinnamon. The pastry was phyllo. Now came our main course. I had Lamb Brouchette and hubby had chicken Shisk-Kabob. It was all extremely tasty. I had told friends I was going to this restaurant and I would be fine as long as I didn't have to eat couscous*. My lamb was supposed to come with rice. Guess what? It came with couscous. After our main course, the waiter came around again with the tub and warm water for our hands, then brought out tiny slivers of Baklava. That was the food experience. The Restaurant had dupioni silk on the ceiling, upholstered walls, low benches around the room with low tables of marquetry wood designs. There was a stained glass chandelier in the center of the room with stained glass sconces all around. There were no tables in the middle of the floor and no booths to separate one table from another. It was exotic, romantic, cozy, and yet, open and friendly all at the same time.

For the new appreciation for my boss--I work in a used book store and when I travel, I try to find used book stores in the area to visit. I want to see how the rest of the world does it. I found out that for the most part, we do it well. I was in the worst book store in the world--boxes on the floor EVERYWHERE--no rhyme or reason to the categorizing or organizing of the books, and no blessed way to find a thing and when you did find something, it was over-priced. However, I did manage to spend nearly $60 there. I also went to a large book store covering two stories of a large building, and another hole in the wall book store that was kind of nice and I found a book for my mother there.

All in all, I had a wondrous weekend for a 31st Anniversary celebration.

*About the couscous--I had gotten an international cookbook for a gift in my early to mid twenties. My husband and I had decided to try one "ethnic" meal a month. The month of June was Ethiopian and included couscous--which was fine the first time, but that particular month of June, I started morning sickness (make that 24 hrs/day sickness) with my pregnancy with my daughter. I have not been able to face a couscous since. I realize that was 24 years ago, and I really should grow up, but some things you just never get over.

15 Minutes and Counting

2009-08-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

In fifteen minutes, I am leaving work, gassing up the car, and picking up my husband to run away from home for the weekend. He's going to go to hiking stores, I am going to go to book stores. We are going to a Morroccan restaurant tonight and an Indian place tomorrow. What a way to celebrate 31 years--a lot better than last year when I landed in the hospital before my anniversary!

Sometimes You Just Gotta Have Something to Laugh At

2009-08-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

This house is being built near where I live. On the hot days this summer, the horse has taken refuge in the garage. This day I happened to have my camera with me so I got the picture. It cracks me up every time I see it.

There is a miniature horse pastured with this horse and when the mini gets it into his mind to take on the white horse, he'll do it and usually win the battle.

A Thought to Think on

2009-08-10T00:28:00.000-07:00

I am reading a novel--novel idea, I know. But there was one comment made in the novel that just blew me away, so I'll share it.

Praying in Jesus name is not asking God to put His stamp of approval on your plans or trying to change His mind to match yours. Rather it is asking God to change YOUR mind to match HIS! (paraphrased but the true idea is there)

Where's My Thesaurus, I Want Another Word For Random

2009-08-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how dependent we become on inanimate objects. I've been without my internet at home for about a week. I could have it for two or three minutes at a time by unplugging and replugging the router. Today I got a new router (with a $5 off coupon--my grandmother would be so proud) and life is better again. Sometimes it takes so little to entertain me.

I am reading a book on Sabbath and the rest it represents. So far, it's a killer book and I am glad to give you author and title if you want it. But, there was a line in there that tickled my funny bone this morning as I was reading it. The author was talking about how sin has entered into every aspect of our lives. He said that it has permeated the very best of everything this world has to offer--and he included bluegrass music and Cajun fried shrimp--both of which my husband absolutely loves.

Now that I have mentioned my husband, I can bring up today's adventures. We went shopping together today--including the big box store. Afterwards, we visited the food court and he got a drink with his choice and I got a salad. He had no lid on his drink (he thinks he's a big boy), and he set his glass down on the edge of a ledge of the table and we had a "spilly-poo." He looked at me with his sheepish grin and said, "I guess you just can't take me anywhere." He got me, my shoes, the table, the floor; but, fortunately, no other people. I told him I did a better job with the ketchup one time.

I had gone shopping with a friend and we were eating lunch at Pioneer Pies. Think rustic interior. We were sitting in a booth and there was an aisle and more booths on the other side. I had a burger and fries, so the waitress brought us a NEW bottle of ketchup. I shook it up pretty good to move the air bubble, then opened it and hit the bottom of the bottle ONE TIME. Ketchup went across the table, across the aisle and up the booth on the other side. I missed my friend ENTIRELY. The waitress came by to take the orders of a family sitting just a short distance away--they'd seen the whole thing. She asked if they wanted ketchup with their order, and the father of the family said, "Yes, we would, but not theirs."

On a more serious note, this is a video of a song we heard on PBS not long ago. There is a powerful message in this song written by a young lady who is twenty-one years old. It's incredible.

New Toys

2009-07-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

What is it about toys that still get me excited? My toys have grown up and are more expensive than the toys I had as a child, but still opening a box with a new gadget in it is just more than fun.

I got a new toy and I am going to have to go out and play with it sometime. I have to learn how to use it and what it will do, but I am pumped. I got a Pentax K20D 14.6 megapixel digital single lens reflex camera body. I already had the lenses. I need to get a memory card for the camera before I can play with it, but I can't wait to go on a road trip and take it along! Of course that trip won't happen for a while. Just the same.............

Still, makes me wonder, do we get as excited about the blessing of being called God's child, or the gift He has given us of everlasting life? or even the spiritual gifts he gives us?

The things that make me go "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............."

A Random Post of Total Randomness

2009-07-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

I just got in a bit ago from an appointment with my oncologist (actually her physicians assistant, but that's neither here nor there) and I had some rather good news from her. I have been taking an antidepressant for the last four months--just trying to get me back after having 3 surgeries in 13 months (and she said that'd send anyone into a tailspin). One of the effects of my treatments is that I experience a week of PMS when my shot is due. I haven't had that with the antidepressant. I asked her if that was because the medication was helping, or if it was masking symptoms. She said it actually helps and I should count on taking it for long term. I am ever so happy to feel this good, I think I will.

Next on my list of randomness, after I got done at the clinic I went to the grocery store and I managed to get home without artichoke hearts and olives that I had bought. The grocery store happens to be 1/2 hour away. Luckily there is a store of the same chain here where I can take my receipt and get what I need. But it irks me seriously to have to go in and get the stuff I need. Sigh.

I read. And for those who know me, that's nothing new. For those who don't know me, it shouldn't surprise you once you get to know me. This weekend I was reading my daily devotions (going through the Upper Room Discourse this month) and the author explained some things I had never gotten before. I felt like slapping my forehead for being so obtuse. First he said that the differentiation between true and false has nothing to do with facts, but with genuineness--especially where it involves our faith. God's truth is more than just facts, it's genuine, it's the real deal, it's all there is and then some.

Second, he said that bearing the fruit of the spirit is more about becoming more like God than exhibiting certain characteristics. I want to take a rabbit trail here and explain something. "The Fruit of the Spirit" is NOT just what is delineated in Galatians. That is the fruit of character. If I had my notes in front of me, I could tell you other fruits that I have found. I know there is the fruit of contribution (Philippians), the fruit of our lips (Hebrews and others), the fruit of our witness (Acts), and the fruit of our conduct (Romans, I think). There are the fruit of confession and righteousness too, but all of those come together to make us more like God. We are supposed to abide in the Vine and take on the characteristics of the Vine. That's just the way it is.

I also read Christian fiction (especially romance) and now and again I find a nugget or two there as well. I found two today in a short space of pages of the novel I am reading now. 1. The longer I lives, the more I know that I don't know. 2. The more things are chaotic, the more control God can have because we can't deal with life out of control. Those are not exact quotes, but close enough for you to get the general idea.

And there you have it, the random workings of my mind!

Random Comic

2009-07-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

I think I am getting close!

Quote of the Day

2009-07-13T15:07:00.001-07:00

We need deliberately to call to mind the joys of our journey. Perhaps we should try to write down the blessings of one day. We might begin; we could never end; there are not pens or paper enough in all the world.
--George Buttrick

What Do I Do.....

2009-06-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

When the post I want to write is already written. I just got a brain storm about the trump card in the hand life has dealt me, and lo, and behold, I'd already written the post. It's summer time and the living is easy and my brain must have just gone on vacation. Oh well, I still hold the trump card, and I'll win this hand.

The husband of a friend of mine just played his trump card and flew into the arms of the Holy Father on Father's Day. No better time to go, but for his family that he leaves behind, there is sadness. Pray for this family as you think of them.

Who Owes What

2009-06-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

I just had a wild thought flit through my brain. It's past midnight, and I had a marathon day today, so wild thoughts are not all that uncommon, considering.

So here it is. I have cancer and it is an expensive proposition. Treatments are not cheap and my portion after insurance is not cheap either. Do I feel that life has dealt me a losing hand? Between insurance and our co-pays, my treatments have rung up a bill of nearly half a million dollars--that's just treatments, not the tests and other expenses that go along with it. Do I feel that life owes me for the lost time, money, aggravation, or the blah days that happen because of my condition?

My answer is astoundingly NO! Why? Because God didn't owe me salvation, but He gave it to me. He didn't owe me forgiveness when I sinned and knew better, but He gave it to me. Life doesn't OWE me anything, but I owe everything! I am a year from being completely out of human debt. My car is the last debt I have to pay off. All I will owe is my very being to the God who reigns supreme, familial love to those brothers and sisters in Christ who come into my world, a reasonable amount of work for what my boss pays me, and submission to the husband who has been placed as head over my family. I owe it to myself to live out my life the best way I can, with all the grace and mercy God gives me for each day, depending on Him for my every need. I owe my family to treat my body well, so that I can care for them in the best possible way I can. I owe God the desire to know Him more, to seek that knowledge through His Word, to learn how much He loves me, and then to act according to that love.

Now that I have rambled on incoherently, I think I will close this post, but I do want to give credit to my son for teaching me this lesson. When he left home at 18, he had a chip on his shoulder; life had given him a raw deal and owed him for the missed opportunity he was grieving. He came home, grew up, and figured out that life owed him nothing; instead, he owed life everything. Pretty mature thinking for a boy who was 21 at the time. Thanks, son. You teach me a lot.

Milestones

2009-06-04T10:32:00.001-07:00

This year has been one of milestones for my family.

My daughter paid off her college loans only two years after she graduated and is debt free--a condition she absolutely loves. She is in a seriously committed relationship with a wonderful young man.

My son just graduated from college and has started off to his first job. He is right now in the house-hunting stage. He feels very fortunate to have this job because about half the engineers in his graduating class are going to grad school instead of working, there just aren't any jobs. He's had this job basically in his pocket since October.

The maturity both of my children exhibit just blesses me.

Just in Case You Are Wondering

2009-05-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I just haven't had anything earth-shaking to say. I have been published in a local advertising magazine this last month. It was kinda fun to see me in print!

Going to Arkansas

2009-03-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

I am going to be away from my computer for a couple of weeks, so posts will be sparser than they have been already. It's that time of year again when I go visit my mother and help her out. This time, I have a cousin and an aunt coming to visit while I am there and I am stoked. I'd be stoked anyway, but this is bonus!

Random Stuff

2009-03-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

I had an awesome weekend--my kids were home for the weekend--well, my daughter and her beau were home. They came in about 11:00 PM Thursday night and scared the begeebers out of me. They enjoyed that. We had great fun all weekend and some deep conversations. It was absolutely wonderful. Didn't hurt that the kids are wonderful to start with.

Today I had a doctor appt followed by some lab work. When I saw how many vials of blood they were taking, I wondered if they were going to leave me any. She did, but on my way out, she handed me a gallon jug for a 24-hour urine catch and said, "We need this back as soon as possible so your doctor has your results before your next appt." Oh crud. There is no "discomfort" in taking this test, but it is a royal pain in the whatever. So tomorrow I get to go to work, come home, make my last deposit in the jug, and drive 20 miles to turn it in. I just had this test right before the last time I saw my oncologist, and now I am doing it again--this means she has a concern. I am leaving next week to go visit my mom for two weeks. I am not worried, per se, but I wonder why I need this test again since the last one was normal. Sigh. I also came home with a new prescription that cost me over $200 after insurance weighed in on it. My husband looked at the checkbook and gasped (putting it mildly) and I said, "I'm sorry, but I need to feel better and I had to ask for this." He very sweetly said, "You do need to feel better. It's all right." It just puts us that much closer to catastrophic limits for the year when insurance picks up the whole tab for my medical care.

I wonder what tomorrow holds? On second thought, I'll just wait for it.

Transparent vs Opaque

2009-03-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

I know I need to say something here, but being transparent is very difficult for me. I am part of a small group (along with my husband and two other couples) which relies on openness and honesty. I am open and honest to a point, and past that point I will never go. Tonight I am questioning what is in me that doesn't like to reveal, that likes to hold back, that to a degree holds others at arm's length. It's a conundrum for sure. I seem to dwell in opacity.

Meanders

2009-03-16T13:06:00.000-07:00

1. I am finding myself in a strange place. I have creative bloggy ideas running rampant through my head, but I now have more than one outlet for them. I am writing a monthly column for our women's ministries newsletter and I need to keep my ideas for that.

2. I just purchased plane tickets to go see my mother. I live in Washington State and my mother lives in Arkansas. I THOUGHT I was getting connections in Dallas and Denver, which make a boatload of sense, but no................ I have a connection in Charlotte, NC, going down and Atlanta, GA, coming back. I do not understand how those two cities got "in-between" my destinations.

3. I was sitting in the dentist chair this morning and counted back--I've seen my dentist at least once a month for the last five months. This is a rather expensive habit I'd be happy to break.

4. I am still thinking over a meeting I had yesterday that will make some changes in my life. While change can be disconcerting, this will ultimately be a good change and one I am looking forward to.

Quote for the day

2009-03-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

No matter what I go through, God's character never changes.

What Am I Learning?

2009-03-13T09:10:00.001-07:00

This week hasn't been a good one for posting, for thinking, for anything. I am in such a place mentally that I am not liking myself and though relief is coming for this (I hope), it's not coming soon enough.

But in all my reading and all my meditations, I am seeing that even though I am in a rather moody place and it's quite a selfish feeling, God still loves me, He still wants to fellowship with me, He just wants me to be repentant. I need to take every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. I am just going to need help to be able to do that.

Here's a PS I'd like to add to this post--read the story here about a random act of kindness that dominoed like no one ever expected!

I Am an Addict

2009-03-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I read an article by Liz Curtis Higgs in which she proclaimed herself to be a bookaholic. I can relate; I share more than just a few of these tendencies. I imagined a twelve-step program for those of us who are similarly afflicted, quiet meeting room where a group is gathered and they are sharing their stories. My imagination ran to what I would say in that group: “Hi. I’m Becky and I’m a bookaholic. It started on the first day of first grade. I was in Mrs. Willoughby’s class and I came home crying that she didn’t teach me how to read. I was sure that would happen on the first day of school. I remember being the first child to read a WHOLE book in front of the class. It started young and has carried on till now. I have three or more books on my bathtub where I take sanctuary every morning for my quiet time and then I have stacks beside my bed, I have floor to ceiling bookshelves that are over-full. I have a stack of books beside my chair in the family room, and more bookshelves in the den. I work in a second hand book store and bring home more books almost daily. I am not ashamed to read, re-read, and keep books that I truly enjoy. I know all the best places on the internet to find used books, and I have been known to order $50 worth at a time. I always have a book with me whenever I am in a situation that I have to wait for something. I get the shakes when I finish a book and don’t have a back-up to start right away. I am truly, seriously addicted.”
Those are just a few of the symptoms of bookaholism. Others are:
• You buy a book and find out when you get home you already have it
• You love the smell of musty pages
• You read ten chapters before you realize you have already read it
• You carry frequent reader cards for two or more bookstore chains
• You cannot visit a bookstore without buying something
• When you talk to people, you talk in quotes from your favorite books
• Your friends won’t lend you books because they won’t get them back
• You won’t lend your books because you are afraid you won’t get them back
• Your TBR* stack is more than 10 books
• You haunt library sales
• You get a job in a bookstore because you frequent it so often you know it better than the owner. (Um, yes, this is how I got my job)
• Your vacations have to include a trip to the bookstore and you ship your purchases home because you don’t have space in your luggage for them.
I like to read fluff with happy endings for my recreational reading. I don’t “do” scary books—my nightmare threshold is way too low. I am probably the only person on earth who hasn’t read a Left Behind or Frank Peretti book. I don’t read mysteries, but I will watch detective shows on TV.
I have in my readings, however, learned many things. In reading one of these more fluffy books, I stumbled across a deep truth that was confirmed in my devotional reading. In the fluffy book, a character was struggling with being able to come before God before she “cleaned up her life.” The romantic interest was explaining Romans 5:8 to her. This caught my eye because this is the one Bible verse my daddy taught me. I knew what it said, but I didn’t really “get” it until I saw it explained in this “fluffy” book. The verse is: But God commended His love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. The explanation was that we have to come to God as we are, because we can’t do the clean-up by ourselves. Then I found this in 2 Corinthians 5:21 in my devotional: For our sake He made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Again, we can’t do the cleaning-up that needs to be done, because it’s already been done, accomplished, finished….
Because of that alone, I think I will keep my addiction and try to spread it around. This is one affliction I don’t mind being a carrier.

My name is maudie-mae, and I am a bookaholic.

Friends as Therapy

2009-03-07T00:02:00.000-08:00

Today I spent in the company of a friend. It had been a while since we were able to do this outside of work, but we got away and went grocery shopping. I had several errands I needed to tend to and she came along for the drive. We talked, we shopped, we laughed, and we enjoyed each other's company--immensely!

I've been feeling down, blue, depressed, out of sorts, prickly, grouchy, crabby, take your pick of adjectives and throw it in there, I am sure I've felt it. It was good to go and do something today in the company of a friend who understood, who was feeling much the same way I was, and while we could have wallowed, we didn't. We both came back lifted up for having been in each other's company.

I just checked in on my facebook page and found this: thanks for a wonderful afternoon. I enjoyed myself more than I have in days. It was nice to relax and chat and soak up the sunshine.

I am still amazed at our friendship. This is the woman who spent a most uncomfortable night in the hospital with me making sure the nurses took care of my pain. This is the woman who closed her business to take me to have a CT scan when I was being diagnosed with cancer. This is the woman who took me to the ocean for a few days just to get away--at a time when I needed it most. She understands me, she loves me, and she's OH SO MUCH fun. And you know what else? She's my boss.

What Am I Learning?

2009-03-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

This month I am reading through Ephesians. This morning's devotions took me to Ephesians 2:7-10. The writer concentrated on verse ten--we are God's workmanship created to do the works He's planned out for us ahead of time. The one comment he made was that instead of workmanship, the word should be "Masterpiece." I was blown away!!!!!!!! I am a masterpiece!! I never think of myself that way--that my value is something along the lines of a Rembrandt original--or even more so. It's having a hard time sinking in and becoming part of the fabric of me. I have to ponder this some more

My Irreplaceable

2009-03-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

What Am I Learning?

2009-02-27T00:02:00.000-08:00

I never look at things the same way anyone else does. Sometimes that's a very good thing. This week in my devotions, I have been reading from several sources--not an unusual occurence for me--but one of them caught my mind and stuck there. Just not in the way the author of the devotional intended. This was not the point he was making, but it was the point God wanted to make in my heart.

Matthew 13:1-9 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear."

I hear people try to find themselves in this parable and I've done it too, hoping against all hope that I was good soil. This week God showed me something different. I am all of these kinds of soil.

The first soil is the path--it's beaten and hardened by use and almost impossible for a seed to take root and grow here. It makes feeding birds an easy task. There are times when the seeds of the word of God hit my heart like the seeds on that path, bouncing around till birds come and take it away. These are scripture I am not particularly wanting to obey so I try to forget them as soon as possible.

The second soil was the rocky places--yeah, the seeds can sprout there, but there's nothing for a root system to develop in. So the plant grows quickly and wilts and dies just as quickly. In my heart this is where I take a passage and try to obey it under my own steam--I don't allow God to lead me in my obedience. I do fine for a while and peter out fairly quickly.

The third soil is the brambles--the seeds that sprout here get choked out by the cares of life. This is when I look so far inside myself I see nothing else or no one else and my relationship with God gets choked out and replaced with other things.

The last type of soil was fertile, clean of weeds, properly tilled and cultivated, fertilized, and ready for growth. I'm going to mix my metaphors here and go to the Vine--where the Gardener prunes for maximum, optimal growth. Whether the Gardener is pruning or preparing the soil, a lot of work goes into getting a crop out of the deal. This is where scripture is joyfully received, taken to heart, and under the power of the Holy Spirit, submitted to. This is where God is praised, where I can see past my trials to see that God is holding me up, where He is worshipped above everything in my life. This is where roots grow deep to drink from the water of life that springs from very deep wells, and deep roots mean a healthy plant. My husband is a grassland specialist--he studies how grazing affects the roots of the grasses in the pastures and how, if the grasses are overgrazed, they allow weeds to come in and choke out the good stuff. I've been hearing this for thirty plus years and I am finally getting it. I need a deep root system. I need to take the scripture I read, meditate on it, and joyfully submit to all of its precepts. God is very gracious and has been gracious to show me what I needed to see here. I need to let the Gardener cultivate the soil of my heart, to remove the brambles and the rocks, to break up the hard pan of the worn paths so that there is fertile soil for His Word to grow and produce a bountiful harvest.

I Forget

2009-02-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

I am now writing a monthly column for my church's women's ministries newsletter. I got March's done and last night I had a brainstorm for April. I am just not sure which way to go, because as I thought about it this morning, there were several verses that came to mind to fit the topic.

I recently had a conversation with the son of a friend of mine. He is a senior in college and is the kind of young man who will go out and make his mark on the world and it will be done with indelible ink. He reminded me of an incident I still cannot pull to my memory. He squirted me in the eyes with ammonia once--thinking the squirt bottle held water. I told him I couldn't remember the incident, so no lasting damage to my psyche had been done. No harm, no foul.

I want to take this incident and write it into an article--but which direction?
God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more--that's one thing with lots of scripture to back it up.
Why is it that we remember our own sins so well, but God has already forgotten them? The direction I want to go with this one is loving ourselves--remembering that love does not keep a record of wrongs, that we are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves--which means we are commanded to love ourselves but still not think more highly of ourselves than we ought. That's direction two.
A combination of both ideas--the question in my mind is, "Can I make this a cohesive article?" I am going to try, I think, and see where it gets me. After all, I have nearly a month to pull it together. If I get done early, so much the better!

What Am I Learning?

2009-02-20T10:10:00.002-08:00

I am part of a small study group in my church. There are two other couples in this group besides my husband and myself. We are studying The Complete Green Letters by Miles Stanford. We aren't very far in the book, but we are working on appropriating our assurance. In the meantime I am reading a book by O Hallesby and the chapter I've been reading through is about faith and assurance. Hallesby said something that really hit home to me because of what I went through last summer. He compared our sin to a sickness that must be surgically removed. He said that we have to allow the surgeon to do what he needs to do to make us well, and we need to not interfere or try to help in any way. In the same way, we have to allow God to take care of our sin as HE sees fit and stop trying to help Him out. He then said that faith is like the spiritual surgery. We can't do anything to assist in this process. Faith is nothing else than to come to Christ with our sins. Then he says that our assurance comes after faith. It comes when our faith allows Christ to do His saving work in us. He uses Romans 8:16, Galatians 4:6 and 3:26 to explain the process. In the Romans passage, we are told that we have assurance of our being a child of God by the Holy Spirit bearing witness. In Galatians 4:6, we don't get this assurance until AFTER we are children of God and in 3:26 we are told that we are children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Then Hallesby makes one statement that clears the whole issue for me: "Faith is the condition upon which we are saved. Assurance, on the other hand, is a fruit and consequence of salvation." Faith is our birth and assurance is our growing up. Now I was saved when I was nine years old and that was a long time ago, but sometimes I am just slow about learning these things.

Just a Bit of Fluff

2009-02-20T10:10:00.001-08:00

Your rainbow is strongly shaded indigo and pink.

What is says about you: You are a proud person. You appreciate everyone around you. Friends count on you for being honest and insightful. You are a good listener and your friends are glad to have you around in difficult times.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

My Inner Super Hero

2009-02-17T11:17:00.001-08:00

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		80%
Superman		65%
Hulk		65%
Green Lantern		60%
Batman		50%
Robin		47%
Supergirl		45%
Wonder Woman		40%
Iron Man		40%
The Flash		35%
Catwoman		35%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Life's Circles

2009-02-15T17:50:00.001-08:00

Life has come full circle for me. At my church we have a newsletter just for the ladies. I used to put it together every month, but ...... that's another story for another time. The lady who edits it asked me to write a monthly column for the newsletter. It's quite ironic in so many ways, but I think I will do it. I have about six weeks before I have to have my first article in.

Another way that life has come full circle is that a friend died this last week. She is one who knew my specific struggle because she struggled too. She lost her battle with cancer this week, but God won the war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Am I Learning?

2009-02-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

Today's post is going to be snippets of things. It's what I have for today.

1. There is a biblical tenet that is so true, but sometimes we don't want to accept its truth. In describing the spiritual gifts, Paul explains how all gifts work together to create a cohesive body. Every part is needed, every part is valuable, and every part works together for God's purpose. He gets close to the end of the chapter in I Corinthians and says this: If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. (I Cor 12:26). I am learning this in a physical way--where I had one part of my body hurting and it affected my whole body, and to some degree it still is.

2. This month my devotions are taking me through Ecclesiastes. Futility is a theme in this book but if you look past the futility, you see things we can do to please God and honor Him. It's a matter of attitude.

3. I am also reading a book that is very encouraging and this week, I've been reading about the assurance I have because of what Christ did for me. There was nothing for me to do to gain this assurance, I couldn't be good enough, I couldn't do enough good works, I could never cover my own sin, but Jesus Christ did it and once it was done, EVERY sin I ever committed was put behind me. God finds me acceptable because Jesus Christ paid my price.

All worthy things to be learning!!

Slogging Through the Mud

2009-02-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

I am not sure what to name this post, so I am just going to start in and see where it goes.

For some time I've felt a cloud hanging over my head. I feel like that character in Lil Abner who always has a rain cloud over him while the rest of the sky is clear as a bell. I think I have figured out the cause, though it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

Last summer, I was sick--much sicker than I thought and ended up in the hospital and having surgery. I have had surgery before this time, so it wasn't going to be a new experience, but the suddenness took me aback. I had no clue how sick I really was and the expeditious nature of the surgery couldn't be avoided. My body seems to be still reacting to a degree and thus my little cloud.

I am thankful for so many things, and I have had a hard time getting to be where I am. I wouldn't go back to where I was before if you paid me, but getting to where I am going next is right now a slog through the mud. I cannot speed the process along, and I wouldn't want to, but I am in a place of wanting to see the light at the end of my tunnel.

This is a downer of a post, but it's honest, it's where I am, but by God's grace it's not where I will be--hopefully soon

Does Anyone Else Do This?

2009-02-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am in a reading frenzy right now. I think in the last six or so months, I have read close to 150 books--I can usually get through a 300 pg book in a day. Yesterday I read a book called "Walks the Fire" by Stephanie Grace Whitson. This book had all kinds of angst and pathos woven all the way through it. Every time something happened to Jesse, I cried. I spent most of my day off yesterday in tears because I got so wrapped up in what was happening to the main character.

Now I don't reserve my tears for the books I am reading, I'll turn on the faucets for movies too (just don't ask about Gone with the Wind-I sobbed through three and a a half hours of that movie).

The other thing I do is I'll turn around and reread a book that I really enjoy. And I'll cry again in the same places and maybe even some new places the second time around. I might even pick up the book and go to some favorite passages for a third time through. Sometimes it takes a bit to get me hooked into a story, but when I am hooked, I read straight through and consider going through a second time. I have some books at my house I have read four or five times and I'll pick them again. These are all fiction. There is nothing wrong with that, but what if.....

What if we read the story of the Crucifixion and react with tears knowing we caused it? What if we picked up the Bible and reread Psalm 139 and wondered with awe and amazement about the way God made us? What if we read 2 Corinthians three or four times and really got a handle on things that push us, perplex us, puzzle us, and prod us to live more fully for the Lord? What if we like Josiah tore our clothes after reading the Word of God because we knew how badly we kept it? What if, like Brother Lawrence, we made a point of being conscious of God's presence with us and treated everything we do as an offering to Him?

What if????

Quotes

2009-02-06T23:25:00.001-08:00

I have a piece of paper on my computer desk at home with three quotes from a book or three that I read. There isn't much I want to say about the quotes, but just to share them.

"In the most difficult moments, God's people can rejoice because He is at work doing something important in them."

"I wouldn't trade my pain for the things God has shown me."

"God's will
Nothing more
Nothing less
Nothing else."

I just wish I knew where I got these quotes so that I could properly give credit for them.

What Am I Learning

2009-02-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

This is going to be somewhat convoluted. I am not sure how to be concise, coherent, or even cohesive with this post. Thoughts are spinning through my head at an unbelievable rate and trying to grasp one is going to be hard.

I've been living in the sea of the rocking boat and learning much as my boat rocks and rolls in the waves of my life. This morning my devotions were centered on everyone's favorite passage in Ecclesiastes--Chapter 3, verses 1-8. My devotion writer spoke of the need for tough times in our lives--they serve many more purposes than just growing our faith. He talked of how spoiled children are if their every whim is fulfilled and how spoiled we would be if God did the same for us. We need those waves knocking us around for our own humility, not just our humility before God, but before our fellow human beings.

Like the disciples, we aren't necessarily alone in our little dinghies. Right now I am in someone else's boat. She is going through a betrayal so immense that it boggles the mind and I am riding in her boat with her. Another boat ride I am taking is with a young friend figuring out some hard things in his own life. To some degree this is like a carnival with many boat rides to take because we sail in our boats with the messiness of life of those around us.

My dad served in the Coast Guard in World War II on a ship that patrolled the waters of the North Atlantic. At one time, the radio antenna broke off the tower and a radioman had to climb the tower to repair it. The only problem was that it was in the middle of a storm and the ship was rolling in the waves. He had to hold onto the tower and fix the antenna while the tower was rocking back and forth every 30 seconds. I don't get motion sick very often if at all, but I think this would have had me heaving my cookies. There is a spiritual application here. We have an antenna to receive instructions from our Command. If the antenna is broken, we have to fix it, regardless of the weather around our little rocking boat. Yes, it would be so much easier to fix while the weather is calm, but we can't put off fixing our communication with our Supreme Commander just because our antenna is not working and it's storming.

Be a Sport

2009-02-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a young friend of mine who considers me "one of his many moms." In the course of our conversation, I quoted a scripture and impressed the socks of the young man. I told him this was not so impressive when he considered my background.

In explaining my background to him, I said, "I grew up in **** church where memorizing Bible verses was a competitive sport." He laughed. Then I said, "In fact, they made a sport of being able to find Habakkuk in less than five seconds." I believe the particular denominational tradition I grew up in also created the "Read the Bible Through in a Year" phenomenon. This isn't to say all this is bad, but these thoughts have stayed with me from last night to today and it's really been burning on my heart. We are such a competitive culture that we have to do everything faster, better, more...... Finding Habakkuk is a worthy skill, because there is something that God wants us to hear from that little book in the Old Testament--otherwise it wouldn't be there at all.

I have found Bible reading plans to get you through the Bible in 90, 60, or 30 days. I wonder how much you can actually absorb going through that quickly.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Joshua 1:8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

I am slowly finding my way in this walk Christward and I am beginning to see that speed is not necessary, that taking a slow, deliberate path is far more desirable. I shouldn't be in such a hurry that I miss the gold nuggets along the way. At the same time, there really is no room for sloth either. Steady is the word that I think is necessary here. Being a Christian shouldn't be a competitive sport.

Oh to have the fashion sense of a 6 year old

2009-01-31T14:07:00.000-08:00

I am at work today and there is a little girl who came in with her parents. She was wearing a t-shirt over a nightgown over pants and loafers on her feet. She reminds me of when my daughter was two years old and would wear everything in her closet. I wish I could get away with such a fashion sense.

My Meandering Lessons

2009-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

I've been in the school of the rocking boat all month long, and on this final Friday of the month, I've finally learned that all the rocking of my boat comes through God's love. In this post, I found out that God has a hole in His heart that is just my size. Later on this week as I keep reading and studying I came across this verse that re-emphasized the thought: 2 Corinthians 5:21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. God wants us to be righteous, knows we can't be, gave His Son so we could be, because HE wants US! He wants to ride the storms with us, so we will turn to Him when we can't steer the boat on our own. He wants us to let HIM steer the boat in the first place. I am still standing amazed.

Guess What? I love you too.

2009-01-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

When my niece was four or five years old, we'd say, "Jennifer, guess what?" then we'd say, "I love you," and she'd say, "I love you too." Finally, Jennifer got to the point where she'd say "I love you too" when we'd ask "Guess what?" Well, this week God has been saying, "Guess what? I love you" and waiting for me to say, "I love you too."

This month, I have cost someone or other $10,000 between my regular treatments, some dental work, and new glasses. My husband said, "You are getting too expensive to keep." BUT my friends said, "No, you are becoming more valuable." God said, "Guess what?"

We used to have a battleship of a car that we affectionately named The Great Grey Beast. A man came to the door and asked us to sell him this lovely thing. God said, "Guess what?"

We have a 1941 9-N Ford Tractor in a lovely shade of oxidized blue. Part of the starter is in a bucket in the garage and part of the starter is in the bottom of the oil pan. We bought it to put in our lawn fourteen years ago--we got a disc and a dragger to smooth out the lawn before we seeded it to go with it. We got a phone call last night from a man who wants to buy it and restore it. And God said, "Guess what?"

These have been extra things we have no need for and have been taking up otherwise usable space. We haven't advertised them, we haven't actively sought to sell them. It's just been an idea rolling around in our minds, but God says, "Guess what? I want to love you, I want to be gracious to you and I want to supply your needs."

There's a Hole in the Bucket Dear Liza Dear Liza

2009-01-27T22:12:00.001-08:00

I hope the grammar police are not out reading blogs today, because I totally left the punctuation out of my title. Too many thoughts are burning in my brain over this one thing to slow down and find the comma key. I do touch type to a degree, but much to my typing-teacher Mama's chagrine, I am not an expert typist and she would smack my hands if she could see me type now. Still I am wasting time and space when I could be getting on with my thoughts.

Since I had surgery in August, I've spent a lot of time reading--mostly fluff--Christian Romance novels with happy endings--still pretty formulaic: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back--or some such. Sometimes in these bits of fluff I find nuggets that once mined make a huge impact on my life. I just finished such a novel--down to the formula that I could almost write in my sleep, but in this fluffy/happy ending novel, I found some nuggets that are pure GOLD and pure God speaking to me.

Many times in our Christian witness we come across people who believe they have to "clean up" in order to come to God. We insist that God takes them as they are, and rightly so. I've heard this all before, but I never heard the scriptural proof to the argument. Today I did. But God commended His love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) I finally saw this taken apart to see that God loved us so much that while we are helpless to clean ourselves up, Christ gave His life to cover our sin. I don't have to take a spiritual bath to come to saving knowledge, and I don't have to give a spiritual bath to bring someone else to that same saving knowledge. It's already been done and it's already accomplished. There is nothing else to be done except to accept it.

So while that thought is blazing through my mind, pinging around and bouncing off the empty spaces inside my cranium, another thought gets thrown into the mix. We often hear that our spiritual search is because of a God-sized hole in our souls that only God can fill, but did we ever consider that there is a ME-sized hole in God's heart that only we can fill? Think about it, God loved us so much that while we were still dirty with our sin, Christ died for us--only we can fill that space in God's heart. The whole purpose of creation was for fellowship that God desired. He desired it so much that even though He knew we'd sin, He provided a way for us to have that fellowship.

Right now I am sitting here overwhelmed at the love God has for me. I have some pretty ugly stories that make up the fabric of my life and God still loves me even though He knew those stories would be in my fabric. Amazing. "I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned unclean. How Marvelous! How wonderful! Is my Savior's love for me." I hope the writer of that hymn will forgive me for mangling it, but that's how I am feeling right now.

Learning--Aloneness

2009-01-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

This morning my devotions really hit home with the quote from my last post:

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that is where I renew my springs that never dry up.
Pearl S. Buck

What I was reading was regarding finding a refuge, and which refuge was the most beneficial. There is a refuge where we will be taken in always without reservation. We just have to be willing to go there. The author spoke of the love we will find in our refuge, how our names are engraved on the palms of His hands, how He will never forget us, how faithful and righteous He is to forgive us when we confess our sins, and how He will shelter us under His wings.

I think about my little rocking dinghy in the storms of my life, and now I can see how the Lord is the wind in my sails, propelling me forward through life, even while keeping me in the shelter of His arms. There are times He will bring me to a quiet cove for rest and refuge, and others when I have to be in the open waters where storms can assail me, test me for faith-leaks, and yet, He's still in my boat, and those storms will not last forever.

I am thinking this will be the year in the School of the Rocking Boat, and I am thinking there's a purpose for it, and that it's all right.

Quote for today

2009-01-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that is where I renew my springs that never dry up.
Pearl S. Buck

I read this quote in a novel last night. Sometimes you find good nuggets in unexpected places. I thought about this off and on since I found it and considered what God might do in those "alone places." How many times did Jesus go away to a desolate place to pray? How long did Paul spend in the desert before he was commissioned to go out and spread the gospel? How long did Moses spend in the desert before God burned a bush in front of him? Aloneness is a concept we don't really relish that much, but God does mighty and wonderful things in those alone places.

I have times of aloneness that I truly look forward to--it's how I like to start my day. I like to say that I wake up slowly and grumpy, give me time to truly wake up before you try to talk to me or engage me in any coherent conversation. My grumpiness, I have to admit, is my own selfishness--I want to be alone when I first wake up. But there is a bit of selfishness that I am allowed because I want my alone time with God then. But it's only a BIT of selfishness. I am at a point in my life where I don't have children depending on me for breakfast or attention first thing in the morning. My husband gets up way before I do and takes care of himself. I have the luxury of my own alone time--one that takes place in my bathtub with my Bible and a couple of study books.

But sometimes I question whether I am truly listening to God while I am alone with Him. I read, sometimes react or respond, but often I let it go in one eye and out the other. I need to reach down into myself and allow those springs to be renewed that will never dry up.

I have meandered enough on this one. Until another day.

Maybe I'll Think of a Snappy Title Later

2009-01-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, confession is supposed to be good for the soul. I am confessing that I play on Facebook. One of the applications I have added to my Facebook page is the Daily Bible Verse. I look at it from time to time but not necessarily every day. Today I happened to look, and I couldn't believe what I found.

If you read through my blog you know I have become "attached" to one particular verse: You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Every now and again it pops up and reminds me that even though I have cancer, even though there are storms assailing my little dinghy of a boat (and I wasn't saying that I am a little dingy--but you could infer that), even through the other trials of life that are occuring around me, God is still there in my boat, keeping me at peace--as long as my mind stays steadfast on Him. It's like when Peter got out of the boat to walk on water--as long as his eyes were on Jesus, he was fine. When he looked at the swells, he lost his faith.

So today I am praying that my mind is FIXED on Jesus, that I will lay hold of this peace, that I will trust in God for the safety of my boat, and maybe, just maybe, I'll find the rest for my soul

What I am Learning

2009-01-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

I think that right now I am in the School of the Rocking Boat--storms are assailing all around me and while I may not be on the verge of capsizing, I am still having to rely on Jesus being in the boat. In the last couple of weeks I've had storms come through in my devotions and then I turn around and see the storms happening in real life. In a couple of instances in my life right now, I am having to remind people of Jesus' presence. My storms may be waning, but someone else's squalls are picking up and I think that it's important to be able to stand beside someone in their storms. This is a rather short post and tomorrow I may have more to say, but right now, I am in the School of the Rocking Boat.

Listening

2009-01-14T12:23:00.000-08:00

My husband and I had a situation come up that involved listening and hearing someone out fully. Other parties in the situation didn't do a good job of listening and I said to my hubby that this person is a worse listener than hubster--that takes some doing.

I guess I need to back up and tell you that my NUMBER ONE pet peeve is repeating myself or retelling something he should already know. I will rant and rail for long hours about this particular downfall to the point that I may have trained him to not listen to me at all. I am an intelligent person, but some days I am so absolutely stupid.

Anyway back to the situation, we are in a position where people we should be able to trust have become untrustworthy and it's creating one of those trial-storms in our lives. And this week in my devotions, God has been showing me that regardless of what's going on, how hard the wind is blowing, how much my boat is rocking, HE IS THERE.

Life is hard, but I think I am going to stay in my boat, the waves out there are treacherous.

Bloggable Conversation

2009-01-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

Hubby's cell phone rang today (it was my son calling). Conversation follows:

Me: You're ringing.

Him: I am? Where am I?

Me: I don't know, where did you put yourself?

Shopping with Men

2009-01-10T15:54:00.001-08:00

Today was a day when I did big Costco grocery shopping. I took my husband. It was not a good time for either of us. He expects me to navigate and I expect that he's been with me so often he knows where to go. He made a comment about an errand he wanted to run, so I made sure we were in the right place to run it and then I yelled at him when he was about to pass it by. I told him that I thought he would see the sign and remember his own errand. I am just wondering are all men like this? or am I being thick-headed where he is concerned? I mean, after 30 years of marriage, we should be more together on things like this.

What Am I Learning

2009-01-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have more than one thing to post here; I am just not sure where to start.

First: This year one of the devotional books I am going through has me in the book of Mark for the month of January. This morning had me in the last few verses of Mark 4:35-41 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

The writer of my devotional thoughts today brought out something that I had only recently come to realize: Jesus--The Master--was in the boat, and the storms don't last forever. This past year was rather stormy for me on several fronts, some storms are still billowing around me, but Jesus is in my boat and those storms won't last forever.

Second: My son is a wonderful young man--he lives his life with integrity and honor, but he's living his life without regard to God right now. For him there just isn't room in his life for God. I pray for him constantly and I will never quit, but now I have peace about it because God taught me this: John 10:25-30 Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one." I know that my son did surrender himself to Christ's saving power and God holds him whether he holds God or not and there is NO power on earth that can release God's grasp on my son.

Third: I have been chatting with my niece about talking to my sister and finding out it may be harder than I thought, or I may be stirring up a mess I don't want. I still have to remember that Jesus is in my boat, and this storm won't last forever. I have to be obedient, regardless of the storm it stirs--that's not an option, but I find I am going to have to choose my words with wisdom. Please keep me in your prayers about that.

This is a lot for one week, so I'll push this thing to an end. I think the most important thing for me this week is that Jesus is in my boat, and the storms don't last forever. I think I'd be full of despair if Jesus weren't in my boat, and for that I am forever grateful!

This Speaks to Me

2009-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

8 in 2008 for the last time

2009-01-07T22:31:00.000-08:00

This is the last time we'll do this--more or less as a wrap up to last year. I am thankful the year is gone, it's not been my best year but still there were gains made and growth so it's not a total wash.

1. Reading: I have been reading O. Hallesby recently and have really gained a new perspective on God's love and what faith is. Today at work I found a new book by Mark Buchanan. Reading is one of those things that will never pass from my life.

2. Writing: My writing right now consists of re-establishing contact with my sister and I am letting my thoughts gel for a while before I send it. I am also bathing my thoughts in prayer--making sure that what I say will honor God.

3. Drawing:

4. Quilting: My main sewing machine has developed a burr on the bobbin race that pulls the thread. While we were in Texas, I was given my mother in law's sewing machine. I am just waiting for UPS to deliver it. Hopefully I'll feel like sewing again when it comes in!

5. Losing Weight: Well, we just had the holidays and with hubby's family's propensity for eating (as well as my own propensity, . . . ) enough said.

6. Declutter: Um, well, hmmmmm.

7. Setting up Sewing Room: I need to take a sewing machine down to the store so I can sew more tote bags there and have room for my new machine. If I can get a new bobbin race for the old machine, I will either donate it to the camp where my daughter works, or sell it on Craig's list or something.

8. Breathing: My one area of true success.

Here's Mr Linky, so do your thing!!

Quotes and Stuff

2009-01-06T19:49:00.000-08:00

I am reading a book by O. Hallesby called Under His Wings. I've read his treatise on prayer and his book on Why I Am a Christian. Both are very worthwhile. Because of where I work I can snag books and bring them home. These have been such snags.

What follows are excerpts from the passage I read today:

He who is the Father of all that is called father and all that is called mother and all that is called child in heaven and on earth, He feels for His children more than any earthly mother or father can feel.

You are HIS child.

He has created you. He has redeemed you. And if you are one of those who went away from Him, it was He who called you back and brought you to repentance.

The principal thing that you and I should be occupied with during our brief pilgrimage here on earth is to let ourselves be loved of God, to let Him shower upon us His boundless love, to let Him in truth bestow His caresses upon us as His little children.

That is what He loves to do most of all.

In the first place, nothing makes us so happy as to experience the love of God. It fills our souls with a quiet, peaceful joy, which transcends all knowledge and therefore all description.

In the second place, it makes us strong.

Back to me now, in my travels through the Bible the one thing that stands out most to me is HOW MUCH God loves us. Of all His creation, it was ONLY us He used His hands to form--the rest of creation was spoken into being. His power is so great that He could have spoken us into being but He used His hands and formed us Himself. That speaks volumes to me. I hope that you will allow yourselves to be loved by God today.

Tidbits, Thoughts, and Blessings, OH MY!

2009-01-05T11:08:00.000-08:00

Last night I slept in my own bed for the first time in two and a half weeks. This morning I took a bath in my own tub. I had a wonderful trip, I had a wonderful time with all the family we encountered, and I was sad to see it all go. When I woke up this morning, I was totally disoriented, but it didn't take me long to remember where I was or how I had gotten here. When we left, it was an iffy proposition. We fly out of the Spokane airport when we fly and it was under two feet of snow. Our flights were delayed by the conditions and some flights had been cancelled. When we got back, Spokane still had 2-3 feet of snow on the ground and it took a couple of hours to dig out both our car and our son's car from the snow.

This morning I read this blog and thought about the study I have been going through. I am reading a book by Stuart Briscoe about Spiritual Stamina based on the book of Colossians. Colossians 2:2-4 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. In his treatment of this scripture Stuart says that when God opens a door we are expected to go through it in obedience. It doesn't matter whether we ask for that door to be opened or not. BUT on the same token, we should be willing to go through any door that we ASK to have opened.

Another thing happened this morning that I feel is noteworthy here on my blog. I don't like harping on this but from time to time it is mentionable. I go every four weeks for an injection to control symptoms my particular brand of cancer produces. That is all the treatment I can get for it is symptom control. The nurse this morning asked me if I were tired of having to get those shots and I said that I was intolerable without it. That thought stuck with me on my way back home--do we get tired of doing the things that are good for us? Do we get tired of being obedient? Do we weary of doing good? We must otherwise God would not have warned us about it:
Galatians 6:9-10 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I had another thought I wanted to post, but alas, it has flown out of my head. If it should pop back in, I will write it down and bring it to the table.

Quote for Today

2009-01-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Ray Stedman:

All power tolive the Christian life comes not from us, doing our dead-level best to serve God, but from Him, granted to us moment by moment as the demand is made upon us.